Fighting my inner cynic has been a personal battle of mine for a long time.
This is probably a surprise to many. My sunny disposition, hippy demeanor and general optimism doesn’t seem to be compatible with cynicism. The truth is, those traits that I hold are actually born out of that attitude.
So where does it come from?
Cynicism can be like a cocoon. A heartbreak, a betrayal, a friendship ended, a tumultuous childhood, a racist remark, a hurtful comment here and there and eventually, this warm blanket of doubt and suspicion envelops you. A coping mechanism that you hope will save you from the shock of future disappointments and letdowns.
Life can be difficult sometimes. Our loved ones can let us down. Our leaders can be exposed as liars. Even coworkers and acquaintances can fail to live up to our expectations, even when those expectations are pretty low. But hiding inside yourself doesn’t lead to a rich life full of fulfilling experiences and meaningful relationships. That can only be achieved by being vulnerable and accepting that along the way, you may indeed get hurt. You won’t get joy without risking pain.
Honestly, my cynicism is incredibly fragile. It melts away so easily by the kindness of others, hugs, kisses, sharing a meal with friends, traveling, the laughter I hear from my patient or playing with a puppy.
When I slide a little too deeply into my cynicism, I have to remind myself of where that road can lead. I have witnessed the horrible examples of people who gave in so deeply to their cynicism, building up wall after wall, so greatly hurt by past trauma that they ended up as nasty, bitter assholes.
No thanks. Not about that life.
So here’s to the death of my cynicism. I had to shoot it and bury it in the backyard. I had to murder my cynicism in favor of kindness, love and forgiveness. I had to kill my cynicism to let gratitude, happiness and positivity in.
I have to be brave. Cynicism is the coward’s method to life. I would rather be courageous, risk getting hurt and enjoy my life.
You’re going to scrape your knee,